NMC086 Connecting With Old Friends

Daphine Mbithuka


Subject: Reconnecting with a friend from back in college!

“The best mirror in the world is an old friend!” This is the sentiment Rosa Linda Román had right after meeting Doug Shupe, a friend who was a fellow broadcast journalist at the University of Florida back in their college days.

As she shares, reconnecting with Doug gave her more clarity on what she wants to do and the direction she wants to take with her life in regard to broadcasting. Also, Rosa Linda admits that by sharing some of their experiences in the broadcasting world, a podcast idea was sparked, which she admits that she would want to pursue it. That’s the power of connecting with friends with similar interests. If you are struggling to find clarity in different areas of your life, this episode of New Mexi-Castaways will help you learn about the power of connecting with friends who have common interests. Enjoy!

P.S. If you liked this episode check out our most recent episode:

NMC085 Morning in Austin

Recorded: September 17, 2018

Location: Between Round Rock and Austin

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Episode Transcript:

Rosa Linda Román (00:29): Hello and welcome to New Mexi-Castaways. I'm Rosa Linda Román and I am checking in from the highway I-35 between Round Rock and Austin. I am driving down to Austin to meet my friend Doug for breakfast. Doug Shupe was a fellow broadcast journalist at the University of Florida. He went through the college of journalism and communications with me and we had some fun adventures while we were in college because we traveled to Los Angeles and a number of other places. And our paths have crossed a few times during our careers. We've never worked in the same market, but I remember my strongest memory besides college times with Doug and other friends from the University of Florida. But my strongest time with Doug is, I remember, with the trip that I met Nathan on, my husband, when I was going to meet him for the Gators National Championship celebration. I met Doug that weekend. Rosa Linda Román (01:32): And so, he met my husband way back in the day. And it's kind of fun to think that now we're approaching our 20th anniversary, my husband and I, and Doug and I are still connecting. I saw a picture on Facebook of him and one of our other mutual friends who he knew through other broadcasting ventures and I worked with in Phoenix was Tyler Sasueta. He used to be an anchor here in Austin. And I don't know what Doug's job was in Austin. I don't remember if he was an anchor or a reporter, but he worked in Austin and then he also then went on public relations work here as well, I'm pretty sure. I think he worked for AAA for a while. But anyway, all of this to say I'm getting out of the house doing something unrelated to kids and I'm a little under the weather, not a hundred percent. Rosa Linda Román (02:24): So, I didn't get my workout in this morning, and Samuel and I didn't skate to school today or he didn't skate, and I didn't run, which is not my favorite. I definitely prefer to have that Samuel time and he does too. But we're doing fine. It's been an interesting time for us because everything's so domesticated. I think about like, "What am I going to talk about with you guys?" And the fact is I'm using the time while we are here in Austin to try to work on my business, on New Mexicast and New Mexi-Castaways, which is why if you're listening to this, you are actually listening to this because my friend Kim Iverson and I are going to, hopefully, be overhauling New Mexicast. I had a meeting with her that went well and now we're following up this afternoon. So, there's a lot going on, but there's also a lot of internal shifts for me that take some getting used to. Rosa Linda Román (03:19): One of the biggest things is our camper is still up in Sequim, Washington. Well, it's my brother-in-law's camper, but we use it as well and he's happily letting us use it whenever. Well, it's up in Washington and we're down in Austin and he's in Arizona. And so, I've been looking at ways to go and pick it up from my other brother-in-law's home up in Washington. So, I started looking at the schedule and I've been working on schedules for my kids, my husband, myself, and trying to coordinate everything. And it's really, really hard to find a break in my schedule and that's shocking to me. When we were on the boat, I felt like I could, you know, do things and break free, and have that freedom and I'm feeling quite caught, so I'm trying to shift my focus and not be in a panic about the fact that I can't just up and go whenever I feel like it, that I can see now. Because I've been working on writing about the live aboard, it's experience and I can see why it is so hard for people to envision what that would be like to move on to a boat. Rosa Linda Román (04:27): I used to think, "Well, you know, you just do it. It's just what you do." But now that the kids are starting to get older and they have more commitments, I can see it's really hard to wrap your brain around pulling them out of all of these things. Just for that trip up to Washington, I wanted to take Ziva because she's homeschooling and she likes to travel. Ahava can't because she has gymnastics that never has a break. But I thought, well, let me try to time it so that I can bring Ziva with me. Samuel's happily in school, so I'm not going to disrupt that. But it could be an adventure with Ziva. Rosa Linda Román (05:02): And I just realized it's very difficult to find the time for her to join me even though she's homeschooling and everything. She has volleyball and she just started flag football and if I pull her out of those things then it affects her ability to participate when we come back. And right now, she's, I think, just starting to figure out some of the social side of this equation. So, I don't want to necessarily rip her out of that environment and it gives me great sympathy or empathy for what other people feel when they may have a big dream and they're not pursuing it. You know, I know some people who are like, "Oh, I really want to move to Florida but I'm going to wait till my son graduates from high school." And I always thought that was such a weird thing to do and such a mistake because you know, if you love Florida and the kids will be happy wherever you take them, I feel like. But I think I understand a little bit more now. Rosa Linda Román (06:00): Being here in Austin, I'm enjoying the neighborhood, the kids are enjoying their activities. I think that it was easy for me in the past because I felt so isolated where we lived in New Mexico. I did have wonderful friends but I only saw them maybe once a month and if that on a good month. And it was always in between, you know, every other activity that their kids had and we didn't have family there, just to see friends I'd have to drive half an hour. So, it was a lot easier for me to pull them out of that situation. Now, I could see that that wouldn't be the easiest thing in the world to say, well we're going to just pack up and go. So, all of this to say that I definitely understand, I am feeling pretty caught right now and trying to be positive about it. Rosa Linda Román (06:52): There was a situation where we were talking about what to do over the winter break because Samuel has a really long break from school and Nathan always works clinically in New Mexico over Christmas time so that someone who's Christian can be off for that time because we're Jewish and he feels like it's a nice mitzvah, if you know the Jewish term for a good deed, it's a nice good deed that he does for someone. But it's hard for me because my kids are also off during that time. We're not off for Hanukkah, we're not off. In fact, we just got kind of in trouble, not in trouble, but the school was like, "Well, where's your note?" Because Samuel was off for Rosh HaShana, which is the Jewish holiday and they're like, "Where's your note? You need a note from a synagogue or something." And we're like, Nathan, I didn't say this, I would never say this, but Nathan said to them, "Do you ask for a note for Christmas?" Rosa Linda Román (07:41): And they said, "No, well we're off for Christmas." And he said, "Ah, so yeah, that's the point. You don't have to ask for a note." But anyway, I digress. The whole point is, we were looking at it and with my dad here I got inspired, and Ziva and I both got inspired and said, "You know, we really want to go to Puerto Rico for part of Christmas time, that winter break, right?" And that season when they have the Three Kings Day and parrandas in Puerto Rico. It's just something I have very, very fond memories of and would love for my kids to have fond memories from. So, I was like, yeah, let's spend the first week that he's off while Nathan's working up in Chicago so I can be with my family because they're all Catholic. And so, you know, celebrate with them for the family, get-togethers and whatnot, and then go to Puerto Rico for the second half and be there for New Year's and Three Kings Day. Rosa Linda Román (08:34): Well, my daughter, Ahava, cannot get any time off. And Nathan was like, "Well, you can't miss any time, you know, during that time." So, I'm like, "Okay." So, basically, even when we do have a break, when Samuel's not in school and every other person is off, we are supposed to still be here and because of gymnastics. So, I get frustrated by stuff like that, but I'm trying to shift my focus and recognize that, you know, there's a way to make it work for everyone, but you do have to get creative. In fact, as I'm working on writing, I was writing this morning on my book about our live aboard life experience. And the biggest thing, I think, the number one attribute that I would say you need in order to make it happen to actually live on a boat is to be creative. Creative planning or adjusting creatively, I guess, is what I'm trying to say, where something will come up and make it seem like there's no way we're going to be able to make this dream possible. And the ability to say, "No, no, we're going to find a way, we're going to get creative, we'll make it work." And to be able to roll with it, I think that's the number one attribute that made it even remotely possible. I'm going to pause because I got to find out where I'm going and I will talk to you soon. Rosa Linda Román (09:57): Okay. I'm back, back in the car. I just had a really nice get-together over coffee with my friend Doug Shupe. We caught up and it's really, really fun to see someone who is from a different stage in my life and reconnect, and just really, it's nice. So, I knew Doug from the University of Florida where we were, as I mentioned, reporters at the little local PBS affiliate through the University of Florida's broadcast program. And just listening to him and talking about his career, he is now working in public relations and seems to be enjoying it very much so that was really fun to connect with him. It really sparks a lot of thoughts when you meet people from, especially, from a work environment that you used to be in. And we have mutual friends who are still in the broadcasting business and then mutual friends who have also left the broadcasting business, the mainstream I'm talking about. Rosa Linda Román (10:57): We all have our own ways of still, you know, keeping the foot in the door or keeping our skillset going. And for Doug, he's apparently very good at what he does in public relations. Sounds like he's enjoying life after broadcasting and just, you know, he asked me would I ever consider going back and working at a station and my answer was no, I don't think I would. I might consider a job outside the home, like in a different capacity. And as I've talked about here on the podcast, I have thought about would I want to go work for a company and video production in some form, but I'm not chomping at the bit to do that. At this point, I want to take the content that I've created through our experience in sailing and our adventures as a family and see if I can turn that into something, curate that collection, and create something that's fun for me and in that my family is excited to see as well and maybe viewers will enjoy. Rosa Linda Román (11:59): So, I think the more that I talk to people, the more clear I'm able to become about what I want to do, what direction I want to go. The best part besides just connecting with a friend was realizing how many stories he, and I, and our collective friends or our community of either broadcasters or former broadcasters, all the stories that we have to tell that would be really fun that we talked about. I said we should start a podcast to talk to all of our friends who have stories from the business. I mean some of the crazy things that we've done in our jobs, our various jobs as reporters, and just, I think people would be very interested in some of those stories. We compared notes about some of the places that we've been sent as, you know, especially, when you're young reporters, you're sent to these ridiculous places and he was telling the story of a friend of his who was sent two, and a half hours away to cover this story that turned out to not be a story at all. Rosa Linda Román (13:03): And we've all been there, we've all been in that situation. If you've worked in in the mainstream media for any length of time, I think, everybody has a story like that. So, yeah, I think maybe that's something I'll have to look at doing at some point is creating a podcast or at least writing a book to collect some of those unbelievable stories from all of our broadcasting days. But anyway, now I'm heading home and going back to the daily routine of making sure everybody's where they need to be and getting to and from school and to and from activities. And I've just got some new things to think about as I do that. You know, I'm always trying to figure out what I want to spend my time on and I was hesitant to go meet him today because he didn't have a car. Rosa Linda Román (13:51): So, I had to go into Austin, which took about, I don't know, 40 minutes to get from my house to where he was meeting me. But it's so, I'm so glad I did because sometimes you get into your daily routine and you don't break it up with moments like that. And then I get inside my own head too much. Being able to talk to someone, especially, an old friend really helps me remember and have some perspective, think about how far I've come, where I want to go, that kind of thing. So, I enjoyed that very much. I guess that's enough for now. It's not that exciting of an episode. Maybe I'll come back on and share some more thoughts in a little bit. So, I think for now I'm going to pause and check in again in a little bit. Rosa Linda Román (14:42): Okay, yes, I decided to come back and just chat a little bit more. It is later in the day on the same day that I recorded the rest of this episode and it's about 8:00 PM I'm on my way to go get my daughter from gymnastics. So, I thought I would share kind of how the rest of the afternoon went and some of the new thoughts that are coming in as a result of a phone meeting I had. So, I mentioned my friend Kim Iverson and she is someone I met through the Manic Mommies, which was my favorite podcast and I've talked about it many times on this show. Basically, she's part of the mom tribe that was created by Erin and Kristen of the Manic Mommies. And I saw that she was working on her website and she was looking to do some new work and I was looking at her skillset and thinking, "Wow, you know, I have had in the back of my mind for a really long time that I really need someone to be on my team to help me overhaul New Mexicast." Rosa Linda Román (15:44): It's just been kind of a labor of love or I always say an expensive hobby for a long time. And the big reason for that is there's things that I'm not good at that I have been handling. And so, some of the critical parts of getting the show produced and getting things pushed out into the world, basically, giving wings or letting them take flight, my creations, if you will, I needed someone. And so, I met with my friend and I think I've talked about that a little bit here, but today was kind of the second follow-up meeting on the phone with Nathan who basically is my business manager. I learned early on, and I think I've talked about this too, that you have to know what you're good at and what you're not good at. And we are coming up on our 20th anniversary and I learned in that first year we were together that he is way better at finances than I am and he shares them with me. Rosa Linda Román (16:41): I'm not someone who's like clueless about what we're doing, and I can do numbers, and I'm not like mathematically challenged, it's just not inherent to me. It's not automatic. And so, I learned early on that he handles the checkbook, he handles, you know, the things, he runs anything of a certain amount by me to make sure I'm comfortable with it, that kind of thing. But those are his strengths and he just has this really great head for business and knows about things that I don't. He also is older than I am, so he has more experience. Plus he's been a business owner for his whole adult life, basically, on and off. So, I wanted him to talk to Kim and Kim wanted to talk to him and that was a good sign to me because I have worked in the past with people who were uncomfortable with Nathan and that's just Nathan. Rosa Linda Román (17:29): He is who he is and he's like, for me the perfect compliment to my skillset in general. We have a few, you know, as parents there are moments where we push each other's buttons or as partners but when it comes to, like, the overall taking care of things in life, we work really well together because I know what I'm good at, he knows what he's good at, and together we kind of fill out the picture, and that's how we are able to do all these big awesome things. And I've had situations in the past where people that I really wanted to work with and I was excited to work with just could not handle Nathan's level of involvement and they're uncomfortable with the fact that he's going to be involved and he's a part of the equation. And so, it meant a lot to me when as we were exploring the possibility of working together, my friend Kim said, you know, let's talk with Nathan, let's see where you're coming from. Rosa Linda Román (18:25): You know, because I said, "Well this is something I definitely want to move forward with." She's basically going to be a project manager and work with me handling the things that I just am not good at or some of the things that I am good at that I shouldn't be doing because they take up so much of my time. And as soon as she said that, that she wanted Nathan to kind of be, you know, she wanted to talk to him and have a sense of where he's coming from, that was like, "Okay, this is a good sign." That was the first moment that I was feeling like, "Okay, maybe this is a long-term possibility." So, anyway, we had our meeting tonight and it went super well. She's going to work on a proposal for some of the things that I need to get done. Rosa Linda Román (19:09): And the first step. And she kind of already sent me an outline of a proposal that basically asked me, "What part of this project…" Let's call it the New Mexicast overhaul, "What part of this project do you most want to be doing and what part do you definitely not want to be doing?" And I wrote down some ideas of what I like, what I don't like, what I want to be involved in. And specifically, it's what I'm doing right now, recording audio episodes, creating content, recording if we continue, when we, I should say not if, when we have new adventures or we meet new people that I want to do stories about or new things that I want to highlight or focus on. I like to record things, I like to be on the creative side of things. I also, my number one, I don't know if it's my number one strength, but something that I think that I've learned that I'm very good at and I'm not very confident about. But I know just like when I analyze it logically without letting my emotions take over, I know that I am a good writer and so I want to be involved in the writing process for any scripts that go out. I want to be involved in that. Rosa Linda Román (20:19): I want to be involved in just the interviewing and talking with people, that part, the people part, that's most important to me. So, with that in mind, she will be, what I envisioned was that she would be involved in kind of helping to manage and maybe giving me assignments of some of the things that need to get done in order to accomplish what we seek to accomplish, which is number, one, and it's so funny because as I'm recording this, I'm thinking, well if you're hearing this, this has already come to pass. It may or may not have come to pass with Kim. I'm hopeful and I guess I will record an intro or tag that clarifies if it didn't come to pass. Rosa Linda Román (21:02): But at this point, at the time of this recording, I envision her being involved in almost giving me deadlines and being my accountability partner, because with a lot of the things that I have done, like, I've written screenplays or creating the content for New Mexicast, some of the stories, not having a deadline has been my biggest downfall because when I was working in mainstream media, I always had a deadline and I had multiple deadlines and I was amazingly productive when I worked at TV stations because I knew I had to get it done by a certain deadline. Not having those deadlines and not having that accountability makes it too loose for me. It makes it, like, well when I get to the next thing I'll get there. Rosa Linda Román (21:47): And you know, I think that is a pitfall that a lot of creative people run into. And especially, when you're trying to be a parent full-time, and a partner, and all of those things, everything's kind of like the Manana syndrome. Like, "Well, I'll get to it tomorrow." right? So, that's what I envisioned with Kim, that she potentially could be that accountability partner that I've been needing. And I sat down with Nathan today and had a conversation with him, and said, "You know, here's what I'm kind of picturing. Let's talk it through." And he wrote down some notes and then he said, "Okay, I want to approach this meeting with her, like as a business meeting and not so much from an emotional standpoint." Because he knows that's a trigger word we talk about because he's like, but I'm the emotional one. And he's, you know, more level not levelheaded. I'm very levelheaded, but I'm also, I certainly feel strong emotions and I'm not embarrassed by that anymore. I used to be, but it is who I am. And the fact that I'm able to feel emotions strongly, and share, and be compassionate, and empathetic toward others comes from the fact I am an emotional being and I'm not ashamed of that. Rosa Linda Román (22:53): So, he was kind of gently saying, okay, but I want to approach this meeting with her from basically looking at the skillset that you are looking for and almost putting her to the test. Like, could he speak to her at that level without scaring her off? If it was that she had the same attributes that I have in terms of needing, you know, not that I need cuddling, but really being all about the energy of a conversation and the emotion of it, then he probably just inherently knew that it would not be a good match with me because I really need someone who has a different skill set than I bring to the table. Rosa Linda Román (23:35): So, they had a conversation, I was there. I felt kind of like a fly on the wall, but it was a really good conversation and she's going to put together a proposal and she was totally comfortable with his approach, and his way of just, you know, saying, well, you know, this is going to be, I'm going to talk in kind of a business way of communicating. And she was very comfortable with it and it was a good conversation. So, yeah, I think we're moving forward. I will be, essentially, the title that I'm playing with is executive producer, or creative director, or executive producer and creative director, something along those lines because I want to make sure that anything that goes out under the brand, I am able to check, and double-check, and kind of supervise, but I don't want to be involved in the day-to-day things that don't require my attention that would be better to parcel out to somebody else. Rosa Linda Román (24:33): So, it was a good meeting, it seemed like there was a lot of promise there and I'm very hopeful that this may be the beginning of a beautiful partnership. So, this is good timing. I just arrived to gymnastics where I'm going to pick up my daughter. And so, I'm going to let you go for real this time. If you've enjoyed this, which I tend to call Rosa Linda's Ramblings, but it's also a glimpse into my process and what it takes to put together a show like this or to live a life like we've lived of adventure and exploration and whatnot, I would love it if you would subscribe to this podcast. You can share it with some friends or you can subscribe in iTunes, or Stitcher, or where else? On Google Play. And you can always leave me a note. I would love that, either on my Facebook page at New Mexicast or you can check out my videos on YouTube. That's New Mexico TV. All right, that's it for now. I hope all is well in your world and I will check in again soon. Take care. Thanks for listening. I'm Rosa Linda Román.

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