Rosa Linda Román (00:28): Hello, and welcome to New Mexi-Castaways. I'm Rosa Linda Román. I go by Rosa Linda, and I am once again driving, so I thought I would share what I like to call my Rosa Linda's Ramblings. I actually recorded an episode yesterday on my way from Riviera Beach to Miami, Miami Springs in particular where I went to high school. And I met up with some of my friends from high school. And on the way down, I was recording an episode here. So, hopefully, you got to hear that. And a little bit of what my family is wrestling with, trying to figure out whether we should continue living on a 45-foot sailing catamaran or if we're going to do something else for the next chapter of our life. I have a feeling we're leaning toward selling the boat. I don't really want to, but the reality is it's a lot of work for my husband and I talked a lot about that in the previous episode. Rosa Linda Román (01:34): But I wanted to talk about just kind of how things went at the get-together with friends and talk a little bit about manifesting, whatever it is you want in your life. So, I had written in my journal and I probably talked about it here on the podcast as well. One of the things that I realized from this past year and three months of living on the boat is how much I really would prefer to have a community or have people in my life that I could have good conversations with and enjoy just being with other grownups. And specifically, I'd like to be in a situation where I have kids, people with kids who I enjoy, and hopefully, my husband also enjoys around us on a regular basis, not necessarily, you know, once in a blue moon, like we, we do now. Rosa Linda Román (02:37): Anyways, so I had talked about in my journal just that I have decided I'm no longer going to basically have a life where I'm so isolated and don't have people to have conversations with, because it's one of my favorite things, is to have a conversation with other people that are interesting. And unfortunately, not just on the boat, but in my life, in New Mexico as well, the opportunities for that have been so rare that it was always like, "Oh, I finally found someone to talk to." And I have to cram everything into one night. Like, last night was a perfect example of that. I had kind of come late to the party, if you will, not a literal party, but there's group of my friends from high school who have been getting together for either camping weekends or you know, couple's nights out or some things like that and getting together more regular… you know, like a few times a year. Rosa Linda Román (03:39): And my friend recently mentioned that to me and invited me to join them. And I went, and it was wonderful, and we had, I had great conversations with really fun people and I just loved it. And I really realized this morning when I was kind of, I like to write in my journal, and I was visiting at my friend's house and we didn't get in, by the way, until, I guess it was a little past 1:30 in the morning, which was actually 2:30 in the morning, because last night was daylight savings time change. And so, I literally, at the party had been sitting there looking at my clock and watching it go from 1:59 to one o'clock, because the time went back. So, we actually didn't leave the party till probably 1:20, which was actually 2:20, right? My body's time was 2:20. Rosa Linda Román (04:34): So, needless to say, I was a little tired this morning and it was funny to think that we were there so late, but unfortunately, my husband couldn't be there because he had to work. He's doing clinicals in New Mexico. And the conversations, I realized, I just really enjoyed talking and it was so but benign, no benign's not the right word. It was, you know, harmless, silly, fun. And I really enjoyed that and I really love having conversations. And some of my favorite moments from being on the boat is when we find ourselves at anchor and we invite, you know, a couple over with their kids or a couple of couples over with their kids and just sit on the boat or sit, you know, we meet on a beach and sit around a bonfire. Rosa Linda Román (05:28): You know, those are my favorite times talking to other people. And in my life in general, that's not something that comes very often. And it's weird because I grew up in a very close large family. So, I always had people around to talk to, but now that I'm grown up, you know, we like our nomad life, and all of that, but it doesn't mean I want to give up those connections, right? So, I'm always in search of them. And last night… so this morning, I'm a little foggy, still, I'm driving now home. But anyway, this morning when I was sitting looking at my journal I glanced at the journal page that the last previous posts that I had done, and it was all about how I was no longer going to stand for this isolation and this feeling that I have no one to talk, to no conversations. Rosa Linda Román (06:31): And then it puts so much pressure on my husband to be, like, my only grown-up conversations every day throughout the week, right? And he travels so much, he's not even there anyway, even if he wanted to talk, but usually, by the time he comes home he just wants to bed, watch a movie, call it a day, because he's been talked out, he's been talking with people through his work all day, every day. And so, it's like, we kind of joke that I have the job he should have, and he has the job I should have. And in that, I don't talk to many people at all. And, you know, he talks to people all day, every day. So, anyway, I was reading this journal entry about how I was no longer going to have that happen and I'm going to focus on really making sure that I have connections in my life. Rosa Linda Román (07:22): And then, I woke up this morning, right? And from having had these great conversations and connections, and just that realization that once you get clear on what you want, the people in resources show up to make it happen. And that's, honestly, my most fundamental belief about life, about my life, about anybody's life, is that once you get clear on what you want the right people and resources show up to make it happen and it's the getting clear on what you want that's the hardest part. So, I got clear that I want people, oh cool, and airplanes going over my head. I got clear that I want people in my life. I want community, and conversation, and connection. And within a week of that, I found myself sitting having great community conversation, connection. So, that was one thing about manifesting what you want. Rosa Linda Román (08:16): And then, in that same moment, sitting and looking at my journal, I, for some reason, peeked in the back pocket of my journal. And I found a little clip that I had, a little ad that I had cut out of a magazine. I think it was like a boating magazine. And it was an advertisement for land in Puerto Rico. Now, I cut this thing out and put it back in that journal pocket months ago. Probably, it may have been even before we sailed to The Bahamas. So, it could be as much as a year ago, but definitely, several months ago at the very least, long before Puerto Rico was hit by Hurricane Maria, just long time ago. And I looked at this clip and it was this cutout, it was some land for sale and it wasn't necessarily the land. Rosa Linda Román (09:11): It was pretty, but it was just an acre and it had an ocean view. It wasn't even on the ocean or anything like that. But the title of this, like, in big, bold print was Rincon Puerto Rico. Rincon at the time when I cut this out of the magazine, I was like, oh, I wonder where that is. I had never been to Rincon or maybe I have with my dad when I was little, but not like as a grownup remembering it. Oh, and let me pause and say, I'm passing the Florida, the Lauderdale Marine Center, which used to be our home. That is where we bought this boat. And we lived there for five or six months when we first bought the boat. I mean, we weren't living aboard at the time, but the boat lived there, and whenever we visited the boat that was our home base. And it's just off the highway in Fort Lauderdale. Rosa Linda Román (10:01): So anyway, so going back to that clip, it said in bright, bold letters, Rincon, Puerto Rico. And I remember at the time [indiscernible] I went to look that up on a map and see where that is, but I never actually did. And I just tucked it in the back of my journal, and lo and behold, so, you know, my husband and I went on this medical trip relief mission to Puerto Rico last week. I guess now it's almost two weeks ago. And the place that we stayed was Rincon. And it was a wonderful place. It was like our home base. We stayed at a little hotel called Villa Cofresi while we were there. And it's a wonderful place. And it's just so crazy, because not only did we stay there, we actually have moved my daughter's bat mitzvah to be there in Rincon. The synagogue service will be in San Juan, but the party is going to be in Rincon, a place that when I clipped this little thing I didn't even know where it was. Rosa Linda Román (11:13): And there was in my journal, and this is what we've been talking about the whole way down yesterday. My husband, and Ahava, and I did a three-way call and we were talking about plans for the bat mitzvah, because he got confirmation from the hotel. And so, it was all about Rincon. And then, I woke up this morning and it was there in my journal. So, this goes back to that concept of The Secret. There's a book called The Secret by Rhonda Byrne, maybe something like that, I forget. Anyway, The Secret, look it up. Everybody knows what The Secret is in any bookstore or whatever. But the idea is you ask, you believe and you receive. That you can have anything, anything, anything you want in the whole wide world, right? And you really can, and it's really true, but the problem is most of us don't believe that, or we say we do and we give it lip service. Rosa Linda Román (12:16): But when it comes to the big stuff or the things you really, really want, we're afraid to believe, we're afraid to ask, we're afraid to say, "Oh, that is what I'm going to do." And you have to believe and act like it's already yours and it already exists. So, one of my favorite examples they tell of in The Secret, the book, is there's a guy, no, it's a woman who had always been looking for a partner, looking for love, really was hoping to find a life partner, you know, and just feeling really sad. She said, "I feel like I'm doing everything I'm supposed to, I'm picturing him and believing." And you know, all of that. Rosa Linda Román (12:55): But then one day she was driving out of her garage. She's sitting in her car and she was in her garage, and it hit her. She said, "Wait a second, I haven't been doing everything. What I neglected to do was to act as though this person is already in my life." And specifically, she had a two-car garage, but one side of the garage was filled with junk, or stuff, or not junk, whatever it was. There was no room for a second car. Her closet was full to the top of clothes, of her own clothes, you know, full with her stuff. She slept in the center of the bed. And she said, she behaved like there wasn't room in her life for this person, this person who she, you know, pictured, and tried to do all the manifesting things. Rosa Linda Román (13:48): But even though in theory it sounded like she believed and she was ready for this person to arrive. It wasn't until she cleared out the garage, started parking on one side to leave room for where he would park and cleared off out half of the closet, and left room for his clothes, and cleared out half the dresser, and left room for his stuff, and started sleeping on her side of the bed that lo and behold, this person came into her life. It's like she needed to make the room to allow those things to happen. Now, a lot of this is very, you know, metaphysical or whatever you want to call it. A lot of people they call it faith, right? You have total faith about the thing that you are drawing into your life. So, just for the record, I don't think it's at all like against any religion or anything like that. It's not a religious teaching. Rosa Linda Román (14:47): It's just about how we block things in our lives without even realizing it. I mean, if you want to think about it as blessings and things that come into your life, you know, and whatever your religious faith is, you know, you may be praying for something or asking for something, but if you don't allow it to come into your life it just won't, it can't, there's no room for it, right? And one of the, you know, it's kind of a joke or a story that people say that there was a great flood and there was a guy on the roof of his house waiting to be rescued. And someone came by, you know, in a rowboat and said, "Come on, you know, I'll help you, get in." And he said, "No, I trust in the Lord. The Lord will help me." Rosa Linda Román (15:37): And he said, "Okay." So, they left. And then, another person came in a motorboat and said, "You know, come in and I'll help you." And the person said, "No, no, I trust in the Lord. It's fine." And finally, you know, a canoe came, whatever, and same thing, or maybe a helicopter and said, "Come on, we'll help." "No, I trust in the Lord and he'll save me." And then, the guy drowned, and when he got to heaven, you know, he said to God, "But, you know, I trusted in you. I had faith, I believed." And he said, "I sent a rowboat, a motorboat, and a helicopter, you know, you had to get in." So, it was like the idea of being that, you know, we have to take personal responsibility too, right. Rosa Linda Román (16:27): So, that's on my mind this morning, manifesting what we want. And one of the biggest things that I really like to do, and sometimes I get so busy, I forget to do is just sitting down and really writing out as if it's already happened what I want. And a perfect example of that is one year I wrote, "Oh, I'm so thankful for what's coming." I think I wrote it as if it had already happened. Like, what has happened in 2016 or maybe it was 2015. And I listed, "I love sitting with my family on the deck of the boat." And this is before I even owned a boat. "…with the fireworks display overhead ringing in the new year at anchor." Well, I was sitting at anchor, so yeah, that would have been the end of 2015 sitting on this boat that we had just bought a few months earlier. Rosa Linda Román (17:31): And we were anchored out in West Palm Beach and the fireworks, the New Year's fireworks were going off. And I was just sitting there thinking I manifested this. This is something that I knew was going to happen. And, you know, however it comes to pass, I mean, obviously, you can just say, well, you made it happen, because you decided you wanted it to happen right, right? So, you get clear on what you want and the people and resources show up to make it happen. So, of course, I think you should work hard and do those things too, but there's something to be said for the magic of belief, and faith, and, you know, The Secret or whatever you call it, and not forgetting who you are, and what you truly want. Last night, it was really great for me to sit and talk with these people who I went to high school with, and it wasn't really my core friend group. Rosa Linda Román (18:32): They were more of the extended friends and they were all friendly and through Facebook, we'd become better friends. So, I've all these people that know me or feel like they know me from Facebook that I actually haven't had a conversation within 25 years or more, right? So, it was interesting to have people talking about my life with me and asking really big questions, "So, what are you going to do next? Where are you going to sale? What are you thinking? Well, how do you do that with the kids and school? And how is that going to work?" And, you know, just talking about all these things with people who were genuinely curious and who I was curious about what they've been up to and how their lives transpired, because like one of our friend's wives had had a liver transplant a couple of years ago. Rosa Linda Román (19:28): So, I had followed all that on Facebook, so I didn't even know her. I mean, I had met her once, but it wasn't until I was able to just sit and talk with her and hear her story and understand what she really went through. And you've got the story and you can sympathize with someone through Facebook, but until you sit and talk to them, and look at their eyes, and hear, you know, the moments when their voice cracks telling their story, you know, there's nothing more meaningful than that to me, there isn't. I can't think of a thing that I care about more than sitting and hearing people's stories and talking to them. That's honestly what I love the most. And that's the joy of being a parent is that I get to witness three people's stories as they're exploring the world in every aspect and learning who they are and where they want to go and how they're reacting to the world as it comes at them and all of that. Rosa Linda Román (20:26): Like, so that's the joy of being a parent. But it's also the joy of being human. So, that's what's on my mind right now. I am so glad I had those talks with my friends last night. I missed having my husband there, but maybe it was for the best, because these were conversations that I kind of needed to talk about him, and most of them don't know him fully. They know of him, and they've seen him and met him and, you know, they would have loved to have him there as what I have, but the conversations were more, "So, what are you going to do? What are you thinking?" And it was just about me and how it relates to my husband and my kids and my everything else. Rosa Linda Román (21:11): But it was good for me to talk about it and think about what do I really want, you know? I mean, the boat thing I realized as I talked to one of the people that I really enjoyed, her husband was in our class in high school. She was a few years younger, so I didn't really know her at all. And she just asked probing questions. And so, as we're talking, you know, she asked, "Is it the boat? Like, do you want to put the boat in charter service, and you know, have access to the boat? Like, instead of selling it, maybe you, you rent it out and then you still have it when you want to use it." So, I was like, "I don't know. That's a thought." And I realized it was less about the boat as it was about the disconnecting, which if you listened to the previous episode, that was what I started to have the realization about. Rosa Linda Román (22:06): It's less about the actual where. Like, I don't feel like there's any one place that I consider home. Like, I don't feel like this boat is my home necessarily. I feel like it's a home and it's a place that I consider to be home for now, but it's not necessarily my soul's home. Like, it's not the place I most feel myself and comfortable. It's a vehicle to explore and it's a place that… I mean, it's nice to be able to have our personal things that offer comfort while we are exploring the world, right? But it doesn't have to be a boat. It could be renting a VRVO or, you know, a rental unit on the beach. I mean, it could be any number of things, but what it is, is the connection, and the connection and disconnection, the connecting with my husband, and my kids, and the disconnecting from all the demands that keep coming at us. Rosa Linda Román (23:21): I think the biggest thing that I know about myself as I learn and continue to remember, as I get older, is that I receive energy a lot. Like, if someone walks in the room and they are having a bad day, I feel that. There may be a whole of happy and that one person with the sadness or the something off about their energy, I feel that, and it affects my ability to interact with others, because, you know, like, I have to put up a shield inside of myself almost. So anyway, that need to be connected in real-world way, like, actually communicating with people for real, not just texting on a phone or, you know, doing a Facebook Live or chatting on a audio recording, as wonderful as this is for you guys to listen to me. Rosa Linda Román (24:32): You know, it's the sitting, and talking, and hearing, and learning, and connecting that I longed for. That is what I most like to do. And also, not feeling like when we're sitting at the table for Shabbat, for example, you know, Nathan's so tired, or somebody call, or something that pulls him away just to sit, and talk, and be together. To me, that's what it's all about. And that is actually part of why Puerto Rico is so meaningful to me, I think, because it's the place in the world I think that I have conversations more, although, some people, you know, do watch a lot of TV when they can. Growing up I don't remember watching TV in Puerto Rico. I remember running around, playing, talking to people, listening to conversations. Rosa Linda Román (25:32): And this last time that I went, we talked, I talked with lots of people, and sat, and had conversations. Now, granted, there was no power. And so, you know, by necessity people had to talk to each other instead of looking at their tech. But I think that if I am truly honest about whether or not I want to keep the boat, I don't feel that deeply about it. It's not like I can't stand the thought of giving up the boat. That is not how I feel. How I feel is I can't stand the thought of jumping back on the treadmill, the rat race, the hamster cage, right? Where you're running, running, running, running, running, running, running. And also, the fact that there's never a disconnect, there's never a chance to just stop, and be present, and hang out, you know, with my people. Rosa Linda Román (26:28): So, that's what I'm going to work on manifesting, is more of that, whether that takes the form of sailing on a boat or sitting, you know, every morning on the beach, just connecting with myself and hopefully, with other people I love. So, that is what is on my mind this morning. I guess I've rambled long enough. And I think I'm going to let you guys go, but if you do enjoy these chats, please subscribe to this, and you can leave a review in iTunes. That's certainly appreciated. And also, if you want to join the New Mexi-Castaways crew, which is basically a private Facebook group and a private photo and video album, where I share more of the behind-the-scenes of my family as we live on this sailing catamaran or whatever we're going to do next, then please go to the Facebook page. It's facebook.com/newmexi-cast. And there's a Sign Up button. And that'll just take you to a page where you enter your email address, and then, I will send you the link that gives you access to those things. Rosa Linda Román (27:39): So, I hope you will consider doing that. I hope you enjoyed this chat. And my challenge to you is sit down for even just 15 minutes and write down something you really, really, really want as if it already has happened. You know, whether it's, I love the way my new car feels in my hands as I'm driving down the road and I see myself, you know, in the rearview mirror, and whatever, just write it down, and then fold it up, and put it in your underwear drawer underneath stuff or something like that. Like, just put it away and just see what happens. I think you'd be surprised once you get clear on what you want, the people and resources show up to make it happen. All right, everyone take care. Thanks for listening. Love you all. Have a great day. Bye, everyone.