Rosa Linda Román (00:30): Hey, everyone. I'm not feeling it today. Actually, I know why, and I'm trying to shift myself, but I don't feel like shifting myself. I feel like being mad, and sad, and not really feeling it. So, let me start the show with a lackluster. Hello and welcome to New Mexi-Castaways. I'm Rosa Linda Román, and yeah, some days are better than others. Today's one of the not better than others. Actually, it wasn't a bad day and I shouldn't really say that because my kids have been great, mostly great. You can hear the microwave because I'm in the middle of trying to figure out how to feed these wonderful kids, which is always a struggle and not my area, my forte. So, while I'm trying to figure out what to feed them, I wanted to kind of record some of what I am feeling so that those of you that like to hear Rosa Linda's Ramblings you will get to hear it raw as I am right now feeling very strong emotions. Rosa Linda Román (01:46): I'm not going to cry. I'm just going to talk. So, the number one thing is today was the day that they took our boat out of the water. The Dawn Treader was hauled out and taken out on the water for a sale trial and a sea survey. I don't know if I said that right, but basically, the people that want to buy our boat were on we on the boat all day. I'll apologize for the noise I'm making as I do need to keep working while we talk. Anyway, they took her out and today was the day to find out if they wanted to maybe back away from the agreement that my husband had come to with them. Basically, the boat was put on the market. I don't know, not very long ago. Rosa Linda Román (02:48): And I certainly haven't been in favor of that idea, but I thought I would probably have a little bit more time at least to think about some of this and to say, no thank you if somebody did express interest, but things move very quickly, I think, especially, because of all the hurricanes that have happened. A good boat isn't as easy to find as it once was. And Samuel's here. A good boy is sitting here. What's up. You just came to give me a kiss? Samuel (03:24): No. Rosa Linda Román (03:24): No, no a hug too? Thank you. Samuel (03:25): Everything. Rosa Linda Román (03:26): Everything. Why are you giving me a hug? Samuel (03:29): I want to. Rosa Linda Román (03:30): Just because you want to? Samuel (03:31): Mommy. Rosa Linda Román (03:32): Yeah, I know you're hungry. I'm making dinner. Samuel (03:37): No. Rosa Linda Román (03:37): What? Samuel (03:38): I'm thirsty. Rosa Linda Román (03:39): What? I can't hear you. Samuel (03:41): Thirsty. Rosa Linda Román (03:42): Pardon me? Samuel (03:43): I'm thirsty. Rosa Linda Román (03:44): You're thirsty. Well, you know how to get yourself some water. Anyway, so the offer that was made on the boat was what, basically, there was an offer that was really low, and Nathan said, "No thank you." From another buyer. Rosa Linda Román (04:04): And then, another offer came in that was closer to what he was asking for, but not quite. So, he went back to them with some addendums, and changes, and said that he would take their lower-than-he-wanted offer if they agreed to not need any of us not doing any of the repairs, that we have a list of things that we were working on that needed to be done, nothing major, but you know, there's always boat repairs. And so, the agreement that they came to was that they would take on the list of repairs and we would accept the lower than we wanted amount, and it wasn't terribly out of range. So, Nathan seemed happy about that, but it was all contingent on them taking the boat out for a sea trial, and taking it out of the water, and checking and seeing if there was anything additional wrong with the boat that had not been disclosed. Rosa Linda Román (05:09): So, they discovered a few things. today was the day that they took the boat out, first of all. So, that's big reason my mood has been not so great. And on top of it, all Nathan is out of town while he is doing his clinicals in New Mexico and I am in Austin, Texas with the three kids. So, not only am I dealing with the emotional roller coaster of this sale of my home against my will. I mean, I obviously, agreed because, you know, he's not going to sell it without my permission, but based on the conversations, you know, Nathan definitely he's a strong personality, as any of you know him know, and he handles our finances. And so, he knows financially where we are and he feels very strongly that this is the right move. Rosa Linda Román (06:10): So, with that said, you know, he's obviously out of town doing his clinical. So, not only am I just kind of grappling with the fact that our boat probably is going to be sold. And I didn't know. I started this morning not knowing really what to expect. Part of me thought, yeah, maybe there's hope that they're going to take it out, and then, they'll change their minds because apparently the buyer that at least according, you know, I've only been able to talk to Nathan, like, in between his clinicals, he doesn't get to talk much because obviously his clinicals, if you don't know, that's when he is doing his main doctor work. And so, he is in the thick of it. So, he can't just take a break to take a phone call much. And so, you know, what I'm saying about how it's all going is based on, you know, in between critical care of patients conversation to me about the boat. Rosa Linda Román (07:20): And he said that they took the boat out and they came back with a slightly lower offer because they believe there's about $20,000 worth of repairs that are needed on the boat, which in the scheme of things is really not that much when you're looking at… our boat is a lagoon 450, and it's a 2012, and it's in really good shape. And so, yeah, that noise is Samuel trying to distract me because I am, you know, obviously, not wanting to talk right now. And so, that's when my kids need me the most. So, please stand by and I will come back in a minute. Rosa Linda Román (08:23): Man, I am just in a mood. I am trying really hard to stay positive, but I've just asked the kids to just like go read a book and go elsewhere. I've been with them nonstop for days, and days, and days, and days, and days. And I have no outlets right now for my big rollercoaster emotions. There are no friends here, I don't know anybody here. And so, I'm basically, just trying to, you know, stay the course and not overreact. And so, every little thing is just, you know, pushing me, and I'm trying not to let that happen, but you know, I am human. I know you all think I'm super human. Okay. So, anyway, reset. To continue the boat conversation, the buyers bottom line, Nathan called, finally, tonight while I was sitting at Ahava's gymnastics, and with Ziva and Samuel in the car. Rosa Linda Román (09:30): And he said that they did think that the boat did have those repairs that I mentioned, but that it wasn't a deal breaker and they do want the boat. And so, now here we are, and he texted me. I just sent him an emoji that was sad face. No, it was a sailboat and a broken heart, and that's all I sent him. And he responded that, yes, he thinks we should take the offer, and we'll talk soon, but of course, you know, he's in his clinical so soon as relative, that was several hours ago. So, whatever. I mean, it's a boat, it's a thing, right? I know it's my home. But, you know, there's more things I'm sure coming, there's plenty of new adventures ahead, but I'm just feeling discouraged because I'm not ready for this. Rosa Linda Román (10:33): And I guess in the next few days I'm going to have to pack up and drive to Florida to go get our stuff off the boat. And I don't even know what they want of the stuff on the boat, if anything, or if they just want me to take everything off the boat. And then, if we do take everything off the boat, where are we putting that stuff? Are we having a garage sale and getting rid of it all, putting it in a U-Haul and hauling it somewhere across country, or what? I got no idea what we're doing. So, yeah, that's, you know, some of the things that are swirling around. I was feeling like we were making good progress with trying to decide some of the things that we've been discussing as a family, you know, where to next, what things we might do this summer? Rosa Linda Román (11:25): I was starting to feel positive about some possibilities, taking a camper trip across country with my brother-in-law. If you guys have listened for any length of time, you've probably heard about last summer's wonderful trip that I took with Samuel and Ari, my brother-in-law, and Ziva to California, and Oregon, and Washington state. That was really a lot of fun. And so, we were starting to talk about repeating something like that, but with a slightly different route, or actually, a wildly different route when all is said and done. But I don't know. I don't know what that means, if we're still doing that or if we have to now shift somehow. And anyway, it is what it is. So, I will stop complaining. I will get over it. And the fact of the matter is, even though I asked him to step out, he hasn't left, so I don't want to have Samuel only hear negative. So, I'm going to pause and I'll come back in a little bit. Rosa Linda Román (12:52): You ever have those moments where you know you need to snap out of it and you know you need to reset, but you just kind of want to be mad? That's how I'm feeling, which is not a good combination when you're the sole caregiver to children, and my hats go off to you single parent who don't have a partner to kind of help blow off steam with when you need it most. I mean, if it got really bad, you know, and Nathan was here, I could say, listen, I'm going to go walk the dog, or, you know, take a break from you guys. But when you're by yourself, and especially, when you're living in a community where you don't know anybody, which is my own doing, I recognize I chose this live aboard and traveling life. So, I'm not blaming anyone or really complaining too much, I guess I am complaining. Rosa Linda Román (13:57): But, you know, it is by my own design. So, I get that. I understand, I guess if this complaining bothers you I would definitely recommend you find a different podcast to enjoy because sometimes I let my vulnerability show and today I'm feeling quite vulnerable and not Pollyanna-ish. So, maybe I need that. Maybe I need to say to myself, okay, what would Pollyanna say? And if you don't know, Pollyanna was a old Disney movie from way back in Walt days which is about a little girl named Pollyanna and her whole outlook is positive and happy. And even when things go terribly wrong, she finds a way, she always finds a thing that is positive about any situation. And she had learned that from her dad, I guess. And so, she kind of brings joy to an entire community of people that otherwise we're kind of just grumpy, and, you know, unhappy type people. Rosa Linda Román (15:16): So, Pollyanna always finds the good in any situation. And she basically puts a positive spin even when things don't feel very positive. And so, if I ask myself, okay, what's Pollyanna's… what would she say about this situation that's making me all grumpy, and feeling sorry for myself. And the let's see, the Pollyanna spin of selling the Dawn Treader. Well, it's easier. In many ways, life will be easier because living on a boat is hard and it's unpredictable. And so, it will definitely simplify a lot of things. I won't have to worry as much about septic issues. I will be able to just let that be something that I don't have to think about. You know, marine toilets are a pain and I won't have to think about those anymore. Boats need work and they're a constant project and they cost money. Rosa Linda Román (16:29): It's like, you know, as some people like to say, it's like, you know, having a hole in the water and throwing your money in. So, yeah, financially it's going to be a great decision, right? We're going to be much better off financially than we were owning the boat. My kids will get to go back into a traditional school setting, and I will get to be the mom taxi. No, maybe I won't, maybe with all that money that I'll make I'll just get to hire someone to shuttle my kids around and, you know, sit home and eat bonbons, or whatever you do, and when you do, you know, the way everybody else does, I guess. I know that's not the way everybody else does. That's the rice cooker, so that's good. I would, you know, I'll have modern conveniences at my fingertips. Rosa Linda Román (17:30): I'll have access to online babysitting services and access to Uber. If I want a date night I'll have access to restaurants, lots of wide variety of restaurants whenever I want. And I might be able to go to the theater and you know, there'll be lots of new opportunities in that way, wherever we are. It's looking more, and more, and more like we're moving very quickly toward the direction of returning back to New Mexico. I did not want that. I don't dislike New Mexico. I just dislike living up in the forest by myself on 75 acres being there with the kids. And it's lonely, and Nathan likes to travel and likes to do big work things that require his presence. And so, yeah, I'm not a fan of that living up in the forest, away from everybody style of doing things. Rosa Linda Román (18:43): And I'm not a fan of, you know, just having to drive everywhere all day, every day just to connect with another human being. You know, the minimum drive is going to be at least half an hour. And that was Nathan calling by the way. Yeah, so that I'm not looking forward to that, but going back to the Pollyanna way, the good news is you know, it is beautiful. There's no doubt our house in New Mexico has a lot going for it. You know, if we go there then I'll get to see some of my friends who I definitely, obviously, need some friends for times like these, if nothing else. So, that'll be good. Yeah, there'll be a lot of really positive things if we do return to New Mexico, or we do end up in one place, which is what Nathan is telling me that we need to be in one place because Ahava's got her gymnastic dreams and Ziva wants to be in middle school with her, you know, friends, and you know, and Samuel is going to need a sport, and you know, everybody needs something, and apparently, that's what I'll be doing. Rosa Linda Román (20:10): I'll be making sure everyone gets to get shuttled to all their activities at all times whenever they want. And not sure whether there's room for me in that equation, but what are you going to do? So, I'm pretty sure by the time I am done with this grumbling session I will probably not be posting this episode because it just is a lot of complaining, but I'm going to get back to getting dinner done and Samuel needs a hug. Thank you. And I am going to let you guys go. I hope wherever you are your dreams are not being shattered and that you are finding joy in whatever you're doing. I know I will. I have great kids, great husband, and we will find a way to make it work. All right. Thanks for listening. And I will check in sometime soon. I'm Rosa Linda Román. Bye. Samuel (21:21): The boat misses us too. Rosa Linda Román (21:23): You think the boat misses us too? Samuel (21:24): Mm-hmm (affirmative). But mommy, one more thing. Rosa Linda Román (21:29): What? Samuel (21:32): It's still named the Dawn Treader. Rosa Linda Román (21:33): Yeah. Samuel (21:33): What if they rename it? Rosa Linda Román (21:36): I don't think they will rename it because that's a good name. But they have the right to. If they do rename it, they better go through the blessing ceremony because a boat name change requires a new blessing. I don't know if they're going to want us to keep our mezuzahs, take those off the boat, or leave them on the boat, or any of the above. I just don't know what they're going to want. So, we'll know more in the next few days.